Salacious Propriety

Who’s all going?

I had a dentist’s appointment this morning…turns out I had 2 cavities. One was fixed and the other will be taken care of Wednesday. Anyway half my mouth is still numb and I feel like Mumbles from Dick Tracy…or like Two-Face…or like that chick that plays Lois Lane on Smallville talking out of the corner of her mouth like a 20s gangster. “Now look here scheeee!!!” I’m kind of irritable right now cause I’m really really hungry and didn’t have breakfast. I want a Nacho Bell Grande bad. Unfortunately my filling is still soft. So I went grocery shopping after my dental appointment to pick some stuff up and have the food taunt me. Out of nowhere some dude in an aisle shouts to me, “Way to go Apollo!” The second I hear that a flood of memories come to me taking me back to 2002 when I first had to put up with this shit. “Oh no….(no pun) the Olympics are back, right…” I thought. Minutes later the checkout lady’s like “Ohno! Ohno!” while pumping her fist in the air. I retreated in shame and held my bag with the Tostitos closer to my heart.

Listen up bitches…it wasn’t funny four years ago and it’s not now. Cease and desist or I shall have to resort to dishing out some pain with my arsenal of rubberbands-to-knees. Oh you don’t want this!

Shit this is a long one guys, sorry.

If you’re unfamiliar with the show…it’s a game show airing in the Philippines that follows a similar format as Deal or No Deal on NBC. There are similar shows in over 50 countries, I understand. I remember almost a year ago when I first noticed this piece of shit show as it airs over the Filipino channel that my mom watches all the time. I’ve never seen the NBC version so I have no idea really how the two differ, really…in fact I still haven’t figured out how this effing game works. What I can tell you for sure is this show elicits WTF moments constantly.

There’s lots of camera swinging movements, epiplepsy-inducing flashing lights, innumerable omnidirectional mics, every color of the spectrum assaulting your eyes, like twenty pretty much nekkid go-go dancers (for no discernible real reason), 4 co-hosts who talk all at once, 1 douchebag cruel cruel cruel mofo of a host, and for the most part a poverty-stricken audience. It’s like a quiz show with the easiest fucking questions ever (like “What color is my poop?” kind of questions). Aside from the show being a visual assault of Japanese-influenced television programming styles (picture DDR in Tokyo while Happy Hardcore is blasting from the speakers all the time) and everything chaotic you could possibly imagine if the Joker was given control of a TV studio, you can’t help but see past that silliness and instead notice the socio-economical tragic state of the participants/viewers that the production fuels their high ratings with.

For us something familiar would be shows like American Idol or WWE wrestling. But these shows are waaaay less destructive to the human race’s well-being. Let’s face it, there’s enough Americans that have and continue to pick up the slack that these useless ppl leave. Not the same kind of ppl, but the closest similar type of programming I can think of to illustrate with…similar in that these shows prey upon that primal watching disasters with fascination, envy and desire mentality. Wowowee airs live around noon time 6 days out of the week and potentially rewards 1 to 2 million pesos (Filipino pesos…not sure what that converts to in $). The participants consist mostly of the most impoverished citizens around Manila, the capital of the country. They line up hours or even days before each broadcast…not to get in…just for the CHANCE to get in. There’s never a guarantee you’ll get in to participate or be part of the audience. When you line up then some dudes come out and ‘randomly’ pick people inline…either that or everyone gets some random ticket stub number and random numbers are drawn. Now when I say impoverished people I mean 3rd world impoverished…not welfare impoverished not even homeless bums on sidewalk impoverished. We’re talking ppl who may or may not have access to some sort of running water system in a metropolitan surrounding area…yeah, like the first fifty or so years of the Roman Empire. Anyways, these ppl are promised the opportunity to win a ton of loot QUICKLY on a game show.

The show’s producers purport themselves to be philanthropists and giving to their fellow man…helping him/her out of a state of poverty. Those fuckers. Yeah, deluding uneducated and impoverished brothers and sisters into making a quick buck is definitely the answer to the country’s poverty problems. Similar pisses me off with contestants on reality shows…I’m less critical of the production and more critical of the contestants here…the contestants here HAVE had the opportunities and educations to not have to consider the ‘quick-buck’ methodology. In the Philippines or any other economically-similar country I can’t blame the people…only the TV studio execs and producers.

I haven’t yet mentioned how the host and production treat the people inside the studio. Some of the show is a quiz show type…and the host or cohosts sometimes pit MINORS against adults…yeah that’s fucking fair. But it’s not the normal answer a question right, get money…Instead it’s the contestant (say it’s a kid) immediately has like 50,000 pesos or something. Now that kid has to protect that money by answering questions correctly and first before a line of people made up of the remaining audience members. One by one those audience members go up against the contestant. If they answer first and correctly, they take away money from the contestant and get to pocket it. I’ve seen children, invalids, you name it get money taken away by unapologetic audience members. Oh yeah! And they talk smack!!! To a freakin 8 year old!!! Lots of the show is hearing each contestant and some audience members’ life stories. They’re all sob/sad stories whether true or embellished…in any case I’ve noticed the hosts and ESPECIALLY the main host likes to stir shit with them. I remember one episode had a bunch of orphans as contestants…around ages 5-10. One orphan made it pretty far in the game and the entire time this little girl kept crying and was a nervous wreck. She couldn’t be more ethan 9. That round I mentioned with audience members taking money away…yup…they totally pwned her. This girl keeps covering her face and crying the entire time, doesn’t answer almost everything, she’s scared of all the attention, the crowd, the flashing lights, and the douchebag host who’s screaming in her face “What’s wrong with you! Are you okay?!” Meanwhile there’s this nun who I guess is who takes care of her and mentions the girl’s parentage and it’s one of those dead parents, whore mom, abandoning aunts/uncles, child abuse, anti-social with the other children, doesn’t really talk (like that niece of Michael Myers in Halloween 4 who went mute…but without the psychotic murder-by-scissors streak). WTF is wrong with production or the hosts to allow this clearly traumatized by the cameras girl to participate? No one ever tries to stop it or console her, cept for her caretaking nun…but even with her you can tell she’s inner-monologue-ing: “Dammit girl! do you know how much loot you can get the orphanage! Fucking say something! I promise you don’t have to go to mass tomorrow if you’ll just do this!”

This show is nuts.

It preys upon the unsuspecting masses, reinforcing greed, laziness, ignorant bliss. It’s Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, just like reality tv and the media and the gladiator battles and The Matrix yadda yadda, but holy shit this at a much more massive and destructive scale than the phenomenon of being able to sell out stadiums for Jay-Z, Pat Robertson or some other crappy person…they’ve got this sort of scam…no not scam…it’s a crime against society. As a country, America can afford to have massloads of idiots roaming the streets doing whatever it is they please without really fucking up anything further than their own lives. That isn’t the case at all over there. If about 80 of the country is poor, then that’s gotta be how much of the country is influenced by this bullshit. I’ve felt pretty angry and disturbed about this show for awhile, and I could never quite pin-point why I felt that there was “just this something about this show” that signaled some sort of doom…

And then:

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/02/04/stampede.sat.ap/index.html
http://news.inq7.net/nation/index.php?index=1&story_id=65166
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/topofthehour.aspx?StoryId=29136

“Good Lesson”?!!!! That bitch actually called this a good lesson! OMG. Nothing makes me more depressed, angry and saddened than shit like this. Natural disasters don’t have this effect on me as much. Nature’s uncontrollable, but man-made tragedies…there’s no excuse or acceptable rationale.

I found this blog by some person as a reaction to all this and she echoes how I feel about this show and this tragedy. I’m gonna paste it cause she’s way more eloquent and poignant than I could hope to be (even though ‘idiotarian’ is not a word). Rizalist (from http://www.pcij.org/blog/) posts:

Something that riled me was the reported desire of Willie Revillame to go on with the show. Normally this would be considered a virtue in an entertainer in cases where the lights have gone out in the theatre, part of his costume falls off, or one of the lead actors doesnt show up. But NOT after over seventy people were just crushed to death and practically still lying around dead. Maybe he thought he could save the situation with his usual boyish inanity.

I do hope that Willie Revillame is finished for good. And all his ilk. Theyre the ones that ought to be stampeded off the face of the earth.

This show, what happened, the aftermath, everything has WTF stamped all over it.

So I had relatives from all over come visit this weekend…some are still here. Anyways, one of my cousin’s brought her two kids ages 1 1/2 and 4 (boy, girl respectively). In the past I’ve been terrible with kids. Partially I’m afraid to somehow inadvertently cause them injury or drop them or something…just a fear of somehow messing up. On top of that, as most ppl know I’m not the most emotional person you’ll ever meet…FO SHO. So it’s really tough for me to convey concern or caring. I do care, I’m just a need-my-personal space person who refuses to say platitudes when someone’s feeling down. So all these relatives are here and there’s some good news and bad news and I can’t help feeling myself force a sense of interest in everything ppl are saying. I do care and love my family, but sometimes its just like “ummm I really don’t care to talk about some underground river or foliage” or “oh shit it’s a photo album” or “dammit someone’s passing around ‘mixed tape’ love song cds,” and on and on. So far the entire time I’m feeling like I’m Larry David.

Back on topic…to the what the hell’s happening to me part…

As I continue to be polite and putting an effort to express emotion (remember I care, but I just have my own way of showing concern and caring that doesn’t involve warm and fuzzies) I’m finding myself more and more sucked into their inner circle. Here’s the effed up part…for the first time like ever I was 100% comfortable with playing with the kids. And then two moments of zen occurred. Enzo, the almost-2 year old…he’s the fucking tits yo by the way…at one point he gets a running start and out of the crowd of people he runs up to my leg and hugs it with a huge ass grin on his face. Initially, I thought wtf…but that quickly went away and i was like holy shit thats awesome. The second moment was i was playing catch with enzo with a hackey sack and out of nowhere he sneezed on himself and like The Flash I scooped him up and hauled ass to the bathroom to blow his nose and clean himself up. WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?!!! It was like some national geographic instinct shit right there. I asked him if he’s “all better” and he does the big as a mountain super smile and goes “ahhhh betttttaah!”

So yeah….HELP!!! I’m having conflicting thoughts on the matter….kind of like Wednesday and Pugsly Addams in Addams Family Values when they get locked in that one cabin where they’re forced to watch Disney movies. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi…you’re my only hope!

This guy is very talented!!!

I love this! I can’t think of anything bad to say about this at all. Wow. Here’s his site: www.sambakza.net. There’s also a sequel short he made that’s on there and its equally as good in quality as well as showing apparent improvement by the artist.

Here’s the link:

Click Me.

I’m so psyched right now! Like I feel like I felt 5 years ago before everything. It’s like this attitude of urgency and stick-up-assyness can go away now.

So I just got in a couple hours or so ago. Knew about this storm coming in last night. My cruise won’t set sail tomorrow morning anymore but will Saturday morning instead. Because of this I had to haul ass last night and book another room at another hotel. It’s already bad bookingwise with all the flight delays and summer jetsetters and others stuck here, but on top of that I found out the VMAs are here tomorrow…so yep I got a room/hotel and it’s not dumpy like this shithole I’m in right now…it’s pimp the next place…but its $$$$$. Damn you MTV.

Got up around 5am to catch my flight. My aunt is accompanying me too. She’s older and has a cane and nags a lot. So I was preparing for nagging. So far there’s been none and at the airports we got to ride the carts everywhere! Woohoo old people!

From Cleveland the flight was supposed to be at 825, but we got to the gate right when another flight on a way bigger, newer, better jet was about to take off at 700. We had a connection flight to Charlotte, NC. So this jet was big enough and early enough in the morning that pretty much anyone could sit wherever, including first class. Plus, with my aunt, they let us be right in front so she could get out first. So yeah, caught the flight, got to Charlotte and now had to sit there for 3 hours till the flight to miami. I hung out at one of the bars and met two awesome bartenders, Scott and Leah…and some nameless flight attendant hottie. Scott’s hilarious…he also shares my hatred for War of the Worlds to the same angry extent. He’s one of those louder look at me types and was challenging the bar to ask him any history question cause he’s an expert. I asked him who was assasinated that sparked World War I. He totally got it too. Archduke Ferdinand. Then he hit back with “Who was the assassin?” And i totally didn’t know. This sounds a lot dorkier than it really was…it wasn’t nerd bowl or anything. We watched Regis and Kelly…she’s so pretty and 3 kids!…and regis is an asshat. Oh get this, at the bar (drinking at 8 in the morning woooo that’s so wrong) I had to ask for a book of matches. When I left cleveland and went thru security, apparently a new rule is NO LIGHTERS. So they took away my lighter Bastards. I just bought that too last night. Speaking of bastards, at the Charlotte airport, while waiting for boarding, there were a troupe of your good ol boys barely hiding their racist comments. I swear it was hilarious…could have come out of a movie or something. “Pat Robertson blah blah…the devil is in that kind of talk…Condaleeza (sp?) Rice bashing.” So fast forward …

Slept on the flight to miami. Enter Miami Airport…ohhhhhh the beautiful women! Just at the airport! I try to get out of Snohio as much as possible but the older I get the less that happens so nowadays when I do take trips I get reminded of yet another reason why the midwest sucks. It’s been some years since I was last here so anytime I get to go to a real city is a treat and blessing. It’s just little things…like being able to walk around not looking like a hillbilly or suburbia and not have people wonder my gender or if I’m a godfearing christian or some crap. Okay, ohio isn’t that bad, but for the most part the people are fat, american flag designed fanny pack wearing (not trying to be mean really) nice, but sheltered people. So yeah, being able to walk around feeling comfortable is great.

So this place i’m staying at right now is a dump. I read the reviews on the net and the people were so right. The staff here are mean, it took 20 minutes to check-in because of a paper jam in the printer and they kept speaking ONLY in Spanish…even to me. I caught most of it (thank you h.s. spanish) and they slipped in some obnoxiousness too. Also this place is like right by the airport. Every freakin 5 minutes a jet flies right over this place. I didn’t think it’d be that bad…I can usually sleep or relax without noise bothering me, but its rumbley and waaaaaaaaunnnngh sounding. Will be glad to go to the mas better hotel tomorrow.

Plans for now…despite the weather, I’m meeting a friend of mine local to here and we’re gonna hang out and also gotta go to a wedding rehearsal…the cruise is a wedding thing too and I’m giving away the bride!…my favoritest cousin in the world.

Will update more and post some campics of the hurricane as the weekend continues.

Peace.

You guys HAVE GOT to check out this promo for the Sin City movie coming out. As most of you know I’m a comic book nut, but don’t let your preconceptions of what comic books and their movie versions throw you off. Sin City books were written by Frank Miller, arguably the best comic book writer ever. Turns out he’s codirecting this flick as well. SAWEET! You can either trust my judgment or check it out for yourselves and decide:

Sin City SPECIAL: Englischer Teaser (Promo)

So you know the three or few beeps that happen when you turn the key in your ignition? It can be the same beep to tell you to fasten your seat belts, check your oil, you’re going to run out of gas soon, your keys are still in the ignition. Anyways, lemme ask another question: Want to know the most annoying sound in the world? I can answer that. It’s that beeping but oh nooo…not 3 or 4 of them. That fucker won’t stop beeping. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. So fucking annoying. I’ve tried wigging the key, messing around with the fuses, drowning the noise out with the radio. Nope. Nothing works. On top of that I’m half paranoid I’m going to be at a traffic light and a cop or someone’s gonna be there and think I’ve just stolen a car or some crap. I can’t go through drive-thru either right now for the same reason. How ghetto. I haven’t felt this way since I was driving around my four-door Delta 88 and only 2 of the doors worked in best case scenarios. Sometimes the driver-side door would jack up too. I’d have to lower windows and friends would have to hop in ala Dukes of Hazzard. Good times. I can’t figure this out…all I know is that there’s a short in the ignition. I’ve narrowed it down to that. This weekend I’ll take it to Auto Zone or Parts and take care of it. I wish I could fix it on my own though. Grrr. It’s completely embarassing pulling up to toll booths and parking stations, lowering the window and paying while the beeps go and have the attendants stare at me with puzzled looks…like they’re not sure if they should laugh or call the authorities. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. PLEASE.Thanks.

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